My sticket

Sticket = stupid ticket

That's what I've been calling this parking ticket that I got the day I went to see my beloved Captain Jack.  The movie started at 5:30, I got to the theater at 5:30 'cause I had to go by Walgreens and get some Skittles 'cause I refuse to pay $3.50 for the same box of Skittles that Walgreens has for $1.  Paying $3.50 is just criminal.  Y'all know it is.

So, heck yeah, I smuggle Skittles.  I know you ain't judgin'.  You do it, too.

Anyway, I was running late and not paying much attention, I accidentally parked in a handicapped spot.  Really, it was accidentally.  The Galleria has handicapped spots marked with signs that say TOW AWAY ZONE MAX FINE $500 so I parked in a spot right beside the last sign.  Just whupped it on up in there like I had good sense, got out, bought my ticket and went in to see my most favorite pirate in the wide world.

After the movie, I walked out to the parking lot and THEN I noticed the painted handicapped symbol on the pavement right up under my car.

And I noticed a little piece of white paper under my windshield wiper.

I did what anybody who accidentally parks in a handicapped spot would do.  I got in my car, cranked it up, turned on my windshield wipers and let that sucker fly!  I didn't think another thing about it until I was telling Larry about it and he, being my moral conscience in times when I'm iffy (and I'm his, too, 'cause that's how we roll), told me I HAD to pay it.

Dang it.

So I drove around in the theater parking lot that afternoon to see if I could find it.  I couldn't.  I called City Hall that Monday to find out how much I owed and how to pay and it was so soon, I wasn't in the system yet.  She told me the fine is $72.  "Just mail it to the address on your citation.", she says.  Yeah, right.  "That citation is litterbuggin' itself down Watson by now", I say.  (No, I really didn't say that!  I told her I "couldn't find it".  No lie there.)

I've been SICK about having to pay that $72, not that I didn't have it,  I do, it's just such a waste, so careless of me.  I don't do things like this.  Ever.

Today, I had the afternoon off and I decided I was gonna go take care of this ticket.  I went to City Hall and the lady who collects the tickets is on vacation this week.  They sent me to the Police Department.  I went to the Police Department and the sweet lady there couldn't find me in the system.  I told her that it was at the theater and that I'd parked in a handicapped spot and she said, "Oh, well, it was mall security, then" and I say, "They don't send those to y'all to collect?" and she said no, they only involve them when there's a disturbance.  I'll keep that in mind.

She suggested I check with the mall.  So I did.  I went to the mall office, explained my situation, they called somebody from security, I told her my li'l story and she laughed and said, "it's a warning" and she showed me one.  She said they don't give tickets at the mall, just courtesy warnings.  Well, I'll be dogged.

For two and a half weeks, I've been stressing and talking about this blankety-blank sticket.  And it was a WARNING THE ENTIRE TIME.

I thanked her, blessed her heart and promised I'd NEVER do that again.

So, class, what did we learn today??  When you see a little piece of paper underneath your windshield wiper, you might wanna LOOK at it.  It's probably just a Chinese menu but you just never know...